A peek inside …

Marketing and stuffYo,

this is one of my lazy “emergency” emails for when life gets in the way and I need a plan B.

(I always have one or two of these on the back-burner for occasions like this. Bizarrely, often these things turn out far more popular than you’d imagine.)

Back to normal service tomorrow, providing life reverts to plan. Otherwise I’ll send you to something like my most popular YouTube video ever.

MK

PS Danny Iny is doing something cool you should check out.

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What are you reading?

This biography of Mark Twain by Ron Powers. Sign of the Cross by my friend Thomas Mogford, which is a murder mystery set in Malta. No BS Trust-Based Marketing by Dan Kennedy – a gift from my friend Steve Gordon (who will be doing a special class on referrals for you in the future). A pre-release version of The First 20 Hours by Josh Kaufman – a gift from the author. If you haven’t read Josh’s first book – The Personal MBA – then you absolutely should.

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My dirty secret (faking it)

FakeEver felt like a fake?

Because I have.

That time I had to stare down Psycho Steve outside the James Joyce at 3 o’clock in the morning and invite him to give me his best shot because I wasn’t scared?

I was terrified.

Or the time I first saw it kick off in the LopLop Cafe? When the waiters and the bouncers dragged the long-haired neo-Nazi down the stairs bay his feet and pummel seven shades of shit out of him?

I told them I missed it because I was fetching something from the cellar.

I wasn’t. I was hiding.

(After the second, eighth and twenty-fourth time it kicked off, I’d become inured to it. Never enjoyed it, though.)

Or the time my son was born and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing?

Or the time I qualified as a certified Book Yourself Solid coach and I claimed to be the guy who could “get you more clients” when I didn’t have any track-record of doing that for other people?

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Why Award Winning Is For Losers

Award WinningDo you use this phrase in your marketing?

If there’s one lazy turn-of-phrase that makes me choke on my morning Glenfiddich, it’s this one.

It’s a phrase that you see everywhere you find sloppy folk, plastered all over websites, brochures, business cards and invitations to do business.

What am I talking about?

Yep … “Award winning”.

Which is funny, because just last week, I won the following awards:

  • Small Business Marketing Coach of the Year
  • Father of the Decade
  • Lover of the Moment
  • Intellectual Eminence of the Fucking Century

All awarded by the Association of British Thirty-Two Year-Olds Called Matthew Kimberley Who Live In Malta.

I stormed those award ceremonies, I can tell you. There were fistfights and snogging and everything.

The most shameful thing? “Award Winning” still works in marketing, it seems. It’s a convenient piece of social proof. And Lord knows we need that.

But “award winning” sales conversations aren’t ever effective.

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A positive message wrapped up in a little profanity

Positive ProfanityMy favorite quote, probably, is one that’s frequently misattributed to Dr. Seuss.

It’s this one:

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

The guy who actually said it was Bernard Baruch (great name, huh?)

He was a presidential advisor to Franklin D Roosevelt. He said it in response to a question about how he handled dinner party seating.

It’s a sophisticated way of saying “fuck the haters.”

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What to do when you’d rather French-kiss your grandmother than make a sales call

GrandmotherI spent the morning with a group of highly intelligent and very good looking insurance brokers.

We talked about a lot of stuff, but focused largely on sales call reluctance.

Getting motivated to make a sales call appears to be one of the toughest things in the world.

Tougher than wrestling bears or burying yourself up to the neck in raw sewage. Tougher than french-kissing your grandmother, by all accounts.

Which seems crazy, as there are no sales without sales calls, right?

Anyway, I’ve yet to meet a salesperson who ENJOYS making sales calls.

So because you’re meant to “give people what they want” here’s a list of things you can do instead of making sales calls:

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How to sell absolutely anything to absolutely anybody every single time

How To Sell Anything To AnybodyYou’ve been waiting your entire life for this.

It’s the secret – known only by a tiny handful of mystical sales magi – that salespeople, sales managers and company owners have been desperate to have access to for years and years.

This secret will render unto those who have knowledge of it superlative powers of persuasion and control.

This secret is so dangerous – so powerful – that it’s been held under lock and key in a Siberian volcano for the last 2,000 years.

But now it’s available for convenient monthly instalments.

It’s the secret of how to sell absolutely anything to absolutely anybody every single time you try.

Forget ice to the Eskimos – this secret – in four parts – will teach you how to sell high-priced (even OVERpriced) services to absolutely anybody you come across.

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