Matthew Kimberley http://www.matthewkimberley.com How To Sell Without Selling Out Fri, 02 Jun 2017 14:37:04 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/cropped-MK-logo-32x32.png Matthew Kimberley http://www.matthewkimberley.com 32 32 Interview With Andreas Wettstein – Book Yourself Solid® Switzerland http://www.matthewkimberley.com/book-yourself-solid-switzerland/ Mon, 29 May 2017 16:12:17 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=3163 I’ll be taking part in the Book Yourself Solid® Switzerland event in September. Watch my interview with the organizer, Andreas Wettstein, here: The dates for Book Yourself Solid® Switzerland are 28th and 29th September. It’s taking place in Lutry, near Lausanne, in Switzerland. If you’re a small business owner, I’d love for you to join us. I’ll […]

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I’ll be taking part in the Book Yourself Solid® Switzerland event in September. Watch my interview with the organizer, Andreas Wettstein, here:

The dates for Book Yourself Solid® Switzerland are 28th and 29th September. It’s taking place in Lutry, near Lausanne, in Switzerland. If you’re a small business owner, I’d love for you to join us.

I’ll be speaking on day two. But you’ll want to be there for both days.

Michael Port is the creator of Book Yourself Solid®. If you’re not familiar with it – it’s a business-building system that has changed the lives and fortunes of hundreds of thousands (probably more at this stage) of business owners the world over.

Get a copy of the book here on Amazon. I strongly recommended the “Illustrated” version in paperback, especially if you’re a visual learner

Find out more about Book Yourself Solid® here.

Take my own Book Yourself Solid® course as part of my School for Selling.

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VIDEO: Day Drinking, Office Romances and Peak Productivity with Ron Friedman http://www.matthewkimberley.com/peak-work-performance-ron-friedman/ Fri, 07 Apr 2017 15:12:52 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=3147 Interested in peak work performance? Want to know answers to questions like: “How much alcohol should I be drinking for maximum creativity, and is it ever a good idea to go into a business partnership with my lover?” I interviewed Ron Friedman, author of The Best Place To Work and creator of the Peak Work Performance Summit and […]

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Interested in peak work performance?

Want to know answers to questions like: “How much alcohol should I be drinking for maximum creativity, and is it ever a good idea to go into a business partnership with my lover?”

I interviewed Ron Friedman, author of The Best Place To Work and creator of the Peak Work Performance Summit and we attempt to answer those questions, along with these:

  • Does the “average of the five people you spend your time with?” rule stand up to scrutiny?
  • Motivational contagion … what is it and how can you get it?
  • Who’s the best person to sit next to when you’re at work?
  • What to do if you live in a shit-hole … how to clamber out of it?
  • Does listening to motivational podcasts actually help you become more motivated?
  • Is it better to kinda know 100 millionaires, or REALLY know 5 millionaires very well?
  • What we should look for in a mentor or motivator.
  • What are the 3 basic psychological building blocks that will make us happier, healthier and more successful?
  • Why do business owners look so much like manic depressives?
  • Should you have a lunch break or hustle through on a sandwich and a cigarette?
  • What to do if you don’t have access to people who can lift you up?
  • How to get REAL feedback, instead of pacifying platitudes, from the people who are close to you?
  • Should you work with your husband or wife?
  • How to connect with people REALLY quick … a little hack based on your weaknesses.
  • A couple of tips that are ripe for abuse by devious sales professionals … including a physical strategy that can make people fall in love with you.
  • The “full disclosure” strategy for deflecting potential problems that you can steal from politicians.
  • The surprising correlation between physical exercise and work: the optimum TIME to work out and the optimum frequency.
  • “Movement triggers M_____” – another super important reason to work out that improves your mental agility.
  • How to set up your home office for maximum productivity.
  • Not every hour on your calendar is created equal — so how to work out what your peak performance hours are.
  • How much should you drink for maximum creativity? SCIENCE has an answer!
  • Where to put your desk if you want to work like a demon … and how many desks should you have?

AND SO MUCH MORE.

Enjoy the video, and once you’ve watched it, be sure to register for the Peak Work Performance Summit

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Recognized Expert: Dorie Clark interviewed by Matthew Kimberley http://www.matthewkimberley.com/recognized-expert-dorie-clark/ Fri, 03 Mar 2017 16:28:58 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=3135 I recently interviewed Dorie Clark for the members of my Professional Persuasion program about credibility building, expertise-enhancing and being taken more seriously. The interview was too good not to share. Enjoy: Download your free Stand Out Self-Assessment Workbook Download your free Recognized Expert Evaluation Toolkit Areas covered: How important is television punditry to credibility? What […]

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I recently interviewed Dorie Clark for the members of my Professional Persuasion program about credibility building, expertise-enhancing and being taken more seriously.

The interview was too good not to share. Enjoy:

Download your free Stand Out Self-Assessment Workbook

Download your free Recognized Expert Evaluation Toolkit

Areas covered:

How important is television punditry to credibility?

What people are interested in if you want to get on TV.

When should you be a multi-faceted personality who talks about lots of different stuff? Or should you niche down as tight as you can get?

How to get introduced when you’re making public appearances?

The most important thing that you want to negotiate when you’re going on TV?

How to prove that what you have to say is worth listening to?

Should you ever “pay to play” on television?

How to you get your first TV gig?

What if you’re an expert but you want to be a RECOGNIZED expert?

Should you hire a publicist?

How do TV shows book interviews?

Where do TV producers look to book interviews?

How do you get to write op-eds for broadsheet newspapers?

How to “fall up the ladder” to get recognized by incrementally bigger organizations.

Where to “insert yourself” so that you’re the go-to resource for people looking for expertise.

Is it important to be on the first few places of any Google search?

The three components of gaining immediate credibility.

Is it easier than ever to write for the Huffington Post? Is that a problem?

The role that credibility and recognized expertise plays in easing the sales process.

Does academic lecturing serve a commercial purpose? Or is there another purpose that might be more valuable?

[and more …]

Download your free Stand Out Self-Assessment Workbook

Download your free Recognized Expert Evaluation Toolkit

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Transgender Dogs and the Coaching Industry http://www.matthewkimberley.com/transgender-dogs-coaching-industry/ Tue, 09 Aug 2016 16:38:13 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=3064 Belle – our mongrel rescue dog – is in heat for the first time. I found out when I caught her humping the three year old with reckless abandon. I was surprised: I didn’t know girl dogs did that. So I asked a friend, “do female dogs hump?” “Not that I know,” he replied. “Perhaps […]

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Transgender Dog
This is an email that went out to my handsome and super-smart pen-pals – the cool kids on my mailing list. If your name is not on it yet, then fill in the form at the bottom of this post and we can get that rectified, stat.

Belle – our mongrel rescue dog – is in heat for the first time.

I found out when I caught her humping the three year old with reckless abandon.

I was surprised: I didn’t know girl dogs did that.

So I asked a friend, “do female dogs hump?”

“Not that I know,” he replied. “Perhaps your dog thinks she’s a boy?”

Which got me thinking about transgender dogs and googling the kind of thing that I wouldn’t want to appear in my search history.

My research (done so you don’t have to do the same) reveals that humping by female dogs is not uncommon.

One website said it’s “rude” … but I think that’s unfair anthropomorphism.

If you’ve got an itch, after all, and you’re a dog, and you don’t know better, and you’re not bound by any social conventions … go ahead and hump that toddler.

(That was going to be the subject line of this email, but unlike my dog, I *am* bound by social conventions.)

Which doesn’t bring us to two things:

THING ONE

If you’re a coach, go right ahead and grab the Business of Coaching Map from my friends at Coaches Console.

I’ve known this crowd for about six years and their stuff is excellent. It’s for coaches who are either getting started, or looking for traction. If that’s not you, you can skip it. If it is you, don’t skip it.

Get it here.

THING TWO

Every week, me and my pen-pals from around the world trade messages and updates. It’s deeply convenient, alarmingly effective and insanely cost-efficient.

So if you’re not in the Single Malt Mastermind yet, then you’re missing out.

Don’t delay, sign up here.

With big dog love and a little shake of the tail,

MK

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All The Tools And Software I Use To Run This One-And-A-Half-Man Business http://www.matthewkimberley.com/software-for-small-business/ Tue, 26 Jul 2016 14:27:25 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=3031 Software for small business: a list that works for me When I got started doing this thing online, my software tools were basic and my small business requirements were simple. Things have changed since then, quite lot. Below is a list of most of the tools I use to run this one-and-a-half man business. It’s pretty complete, […]

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software for small business list

Software for small business: a list that works for me

When I got started doing this thing online, my software tools were basic and my small business requirements were simple.

Things have changed since then, quite lot.

Below is a list of most of the tools I use to run this one-and-a-half man business. It’s pretty complete, but if I’m missing anything, drop me a line and ask.

(Big Frank, my beautiful assistant, is the half-man referred to in the title. Not because he’s half a man, but because he only needs do a few hours a week, just in case you were curious.)

Let’s start with email

Mondays are email and admin days.

I log into HelpScout where Big Frank has assigned me emails that came in the previous week that he prefers I deal with.

Top priority is responding to the Single Malt Mastermind emails that arrived over the weekend.

Anything urgent during the week goes to my personal email, which I check using CloudMagic Email on my phone, and, sometimes, desktop. It’s minimalist and distraction-free.

If an email needs more than a quick reply, it gets sent to Asana, either by forwarding it (if on mobile) or by using the Asana Chrome Extension (if I’m on my desktop).

Using Google Apps for Work, I set up filters in my email that mean that everything that doesn’t come from Frank, or my wife, or a very small handful of other people, doesn’t hit my inbox.

It takes a little bit of willpower to not check my “All Email” folder, but not too much: the benefits of not getting regular email far outweigh the quick fix of seeing what’s come in.

On the rare occasion that I need to track an outgoing email – normally to the bank or another reluctant supplier – I’ll send it either using MixMax directly out of Gmail’s web interface, or else with Contactually. That way I can see when it’s been opened and follow up accordingly.

I use Contactually for about ten minutes every day for my Five Things and occasionally for its ScaleMail mail-merge function.

You should, too.

I prefer to do personal follow up with Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp or iMessage. Much higher open rates …

Writing

First drafts of anything normally get bashed out in OmmWriter. Again – minimalist and distraction-free. Writing without an internet connection is one of my favorite productivity tips.

Depending on where the writing ends up, it then gets copied – without formatting – into Google Drive (for copywriting clients) – or WordPress (rarely) or, more frequently, straight into Infusionsoft.

I don’t like copying formatting over because stuff gets messed up, and re-reading, re-writing and formatting from scratch means another set of eyes goes over the finished piece before it gets redirected or sent on.

Money

I use Authorize.net for credit card processing today. I’d use Stripe but it’s not an option in Malta.

Infusionsoft takes care of order forms. I’m using Spiffy for customization of the forms, after some trial-and-error with hard-coding (with help of a developer). Spiffy seems solid so far.

When an online order is processed through Infusionsoft, Big Frank gets notified in Asana (via a Zap) to create an invoice in Freshbooks for proper tax reporting.

Offline orders for speaking gigs, consultancy and the like are processed directly and manually through Freshbooks, which integrates directly with Authorize.net and PayPal for online payment.

One of my biggest time-savers.

All incoming and outgoing invoices and receipts are saved to Dropbox and that folder is shared with my accountants once a month. Paper receipts are carted off manually once a quarter, or once they start to take up too much space in my desk drawer, whichever is sooner.

I’m in LOVE with You Need A Budget for cash forecasting, both at home and business. I update it manually about once every ten days, which keeps me sharp on where the money is going, and I do my best to combine it with Mike Michalowicz’s Profit First principles.

Productivity and not letting things drop.

Asana takes care of all projects and to-dos, combined with Kasban.io for work-based, up-against-a-deadline sprints (read this book for more about that). Mrs K and I share a dynamic shopping list in Apple reminders.

Evernote is my virtual brain. Everything goes in there. I use the Scannable app about ten times a week for saving paper documents to the cloud.

(If you feel you’re not getting the most out of Evernote, I strongly recommend Evernote Essentials by Bretty Kelly.)

A recent addition to my note-taking practice, which I fell in love with in about three minutes flat, is to use Paper by 53 on an iPad Pro. I just used it for three days solid at an event in Santa Monica and – for the first time ever – all my notes are in the same place, digitally saved, and easy to find.

Paper by 53

RescueTime runs in the background and keeps an eye on how I’m spending my time and I use a Zap to send a daily summary to my Google calendar so I can quickly glance at how many productive hours I’ve had in the previous days.

I use Sunrise calendar at the moment, primarily for its two-way native sync with Asana (so I can drag my to-dos around my calendar and they get updated in both places) but since Sunrise was bought by Microsoft and its team moved to work on Outlook, that might not be an option for much longer … which would suck.

1Password syncs passwords across devices and the shared vault feature lets me share specific passwords with specific people.

Marketing and Delivery

Infusionsoft runs payments, mailing list, affiliates and smart-marketing.

I’ve been using it for six years and can’t bring myself to change. I’m also a big fan, which helps.

I supercharge it with MyFusionHelper which makes it infinitely more slick and useful, and allows it to talk seamlessly to things like GoToWebinar, which I’ve recently returned to for webinars.

Also playing with EverWebinar for evergreen delivery of automated webinars.

Leadpages for landing pages, including entire sales pages like this one. Couldn’t live without it at this stage, and it’s getting better with each iteration.

Google Tag Manager has been hugely appreciated for wrapping up code and sticking it on websites, especially since the amount of different things that I want to track has increased.

(Currently wrapping Infusionsoft, Google Analytics, Facebook pixels, Facebook Connect and iTracker360 code on most properties).

Membership sites are run on WordPress with Wishlist Member and Wishlist Member for Infusionsoft, with videos hosted on Vimeo Pro.

Currently in love with AdEspresso for managing Facebook ads. It makes split-testing and creating multiple variations of ads a breeze, its reporting is stellar and it automatically optimizes your ads in the background so you’re getting the best return for your buck.

I monitor effectiveness of ads by creating a unique referral partner in Infusionsoft with a 0% commission. Individual ads and campaigns then get their own links, built with Google’s url builder and this handy spreadsheet, and created as affiliate links inside of Infusionsoft.

I find that running the affiliate report inside of Infusionsoft then gives far more accurate results for leads and sales than relying on Facebook’s own metrics, which are sometimes out by a factor of two.

I create slideshows in Keynote and – when creating screenshare videos – either record natively within Keynote or else screen capture with ScreenFlow and tweak. I used Screenflow for editing on the rare occasion I do to-camera video (although rarely do video and very rarely do my own editing now.)

Another thing I don’t do much of anymore is edit and tweak my own images, but when I do – and when I did – I’d use Photoshop Elements. Have used Canva in the past. Understand Big Frank uses Snappa.

[UPDATE: Big Frank says “truth be told I don’t really use it that much anymore. Compared to good ol’ Photoshop it’s too restrictive.”]

For stock photos I go to one of these (paid) places:

Or one of these (free) places:

UnsplashStocksnap – GratisographyNegative SpaceSplitshireLittle VisualsLife of PixSuperfamousDeath To The Stock PhotoPic JumboIM CreatorLock and Stock PhotosSnap Wire SnapsJay MantriTookAPic

I use Buffer for some social media stuff, although only for curation, and I’m not really big on the social (although you should totally follow me on Instagram).

Big Frank runs a secondary Instagram account that we run for lead gen (works pretty well – follow Nathan Chan’s guidelines) and uses, I think, IconoSquare and perhaps Grum as well.

Quuu is useful for curation, but I use it exclusively on LinkedIn where people are weird.

CoSchedule for marketing calendar and content creation, although it’s more than I need given my blogging frequency. Great tool, but likely not to renew. When I was working with a content creation team at Book Yourself Solid it was critical to our workflow. For a one-man-band, not so much.

For planning out general email marketing campaigns I prefer to use Google Calendar.

Transmit for FTP. Bluehost and Synthesis for hosting. Namecheap, primarily, for domain names. Bitly for link-shortening and tracking. Akturatech for site-monitoring and speeding up and so that I have somebody to call when I’ve got a problem. I use their on-demand web guy service …

And probably other stuff that I’ve forgotten right now.

It’s been a process of continuous tweaking and improvement. Although the list of tools might seem long, each component, once slotted into the system, makes for a reduction in hours worked and headaches had.

If I had to start from scratch with nothing, I’d go to Leadpages plus Infusionsoft plus PayPal for taking cash..

But remember: the tools don’t matter. It’s what you do with them.

And what you SHOULD do with them is my Five Things.

Click here to get your own copy, get good at networking and get new clients.

Click here to get more clients

And if you’ve got any questions, head over here and ask away.

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How To Fund Your Criminal Empire (I’m Being Robbed) http://www.matthewkimberley.com/fund-criminal-empire/ Tue, 14 Jun 2016 15:04:24 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=2995 Hey, So this coprophagic ingrate is stealing from me. My School for Selling is currently available to buy – online at a shady-as-all-hell site – for only $97. Now, I’m obviously not going to give you a link, but if you look hard enough you’ll find it. You’ll give your $97 to some dude that […]

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Some shit-eater is stealing my intellectual property
This is an email that went out to my handsome and super-smart pen-pals – the cool kids on my mailing list. If your name is not on it yet, then fill in the form at the bottom of this post and we can get that rectified, stat.

Hey,

So this coprophagic ingrate is stealing from me. My School for Selling is currently available to buy – online at a shady-as-all-hell site – for only $97.

Now, I’m obviously not going to give you a link, but if you look hard enough you’ll find it.

You’ll give your $97 to some dude that is probably based in Vietnam – as far as I can make out – who will in return send you a folder filled with … what? The videos, probably. Maybe the workbooks. Dunno. Certainly not the updates or the overall experience.

I got in touch with him, using the contact page, and we chatted on Skype.

“Hi”, I said, “I’m interested in buying the School for Selling by Matthew Kimberley.”

(I made no effort to pretend to be anybody else).

He said, “sure. Just send $97 to my PayPal address and I’ll send you a folder with the course.”

So I contacted PayPal, and said that this guy was using his PayPal account to fund his criminal empire, with proof. They said:

Unfortunately, we cannot take direct actions in order to prevent this person from doing it, as we have no power to do so. Therefore, I would advise you to contact local authorities, (police or and patent office) in order to take necessary steps.

Nevertheless, we will monitor and review this PayPal account and will be happy to support police actions if requested.

So here I am, wondering which “local authorities” will give a shit. I’m also wondering whether the Vietnamese hosting company will give a shit, and I presume not, or they would have replied to me.

And so … in the words of the Dalai Lama … it is what it is, bro.

A more assertive, more aggressive, more resource-laden me would file international intellectual property cases, but hey … there’s whisky to drink and ponderings to pursue.

Speaking of which, if you want to listen to the sound of my voice all weekend, here are three interviews that went live this week:

1. Matthew Kimberley is Funny, Smart and Irreverent. And Now Solo

This is the third time I’ve been on Michael O’Neal’s Solopreneur Podcast but the first time he’s allowed me to choose the title.

2. Extrapolate from the World of Sales Into The Courtroom with Matthew Kimberley

Don’t be put off by the cumbersome teaser. If you’re a lawyer, or a Grisham fan, or enjoy public speaking and persuasion then this will tickle your grey cells.

3. Learn How To Sell Without Selling Out with Matthew Kimberley

Matt Coffy, Geek-In-Chief at CustomerBloom, and Matt Kimberley, who couldn’t resist putting his name into this email for a fifth time, shoot the breeze and talk about cultivating a “new normal”.

Love you. Have a great weekend.

MK

PS – if you’re not watching Todd Herman’s new video series on productivity and goal-setting then you’re really missing out.

Get started here.

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How To Banish Sales Resistance With Rohypnol And Coercion http://www.matthewkimberley.com/marketing-rohypnol/ Fri, 03 Jun 2016 15:52:20 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=2984 As practitioners of professional persuasion, marketers and salespeople are constantly on the lookout for ways to get people – our prospects – to say “yes”. We learn – and teach – strategies and principles based upon psychological research and millions of data-points collected across thousands of industries and transactions. Irrespective of where and how we’re setting up for the sale, one […]

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Sales Rohypnol

As practitioners of professional persuasion, marketers and salespeople are constantly on the lookout for ways to get people – our prospects – to say “yes”.

We learn – and teach – strategies and principles based upon psychological research and millions of data-points collected across thousands of industries and transactions.

Irrespective of where and how we’re setting up for the sale, one principle remains constant: that of decreasing buyer resistance.

And we employ any number of tools to reach that goal.

  • We build rapport, to break down the barrier of dealing with the unknown and to increase our likability factor.
  • We uncover pain and deliberately exacerbate it with bullet points and questionnaires and slow-motion black-and-white infomercial montages.
  • We incentivize purchases with bonus stacking, bundling, promotions and price-drops.
  • We deploy urgency and scarcity on a daily basis with fire-sales, expiring coupons and limited-time offers.
  • We push emotional hot buttons to reinforce our logical arguments for buying and – in doing so – make a purchase more likely.

All of these approaches are proven. They work.

And yet – as Kelly Diels eloquently argues in her piece “On the ‘Mental Triggers’ of Online Marketing … “, many of these strategies risk eliminating personal agency.

And that is problematic.

It’s problematic because – when taken to its logical limit – any concerted attempt to eliminate buyer resistance is successful when buyer resistance equals zero: the end goal is no resistance.

Now, in the case of one prospect, there may be no resistance from the beginning. Our work is done before it’s started and we become “order takers”.

While in the case of another prospect, the resistance may be strong and we will need to work harder at eliminating that resistance.

  • Do we deploy sleep deprivation?
  • Do we use blackmail?
  • Do we make threats of personal harm?
  • Do we administer date-rape drugs?

The answer is clearly no … but also yes.

The answer is also yes because our goal and intention remains the same: to alter the mental state of our prospect to the degree that they will acquiesce to our demands. The tool that we use to arrive at that result, it could be argued, is irrelevant.

Perhaps there’s a definition in law where you live regarding coercion, as there likely is surrounding false representation.

But it’s woolly, isn’t it?

What’s the ethical difference between the creating the physical discomfort of tightened thumb-screws and the psychological discomfort of having our “pain” exacerbated?

And while we can probably agree that chemical inducement of a changed mental state is “not allowed” (with Rohypnol, for example), we encourage the ramping up of endorphin, serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin production through our trigger words, ad copy and launch sequences.

We wouldn’t encourage sleep deprivation … yet we’ll recommend a motivational speaker’s event that has us on our feet until 1am in the morning, three days on the trot.

We wouldn’t threaten another person with bankruptcy or misery or broken legs, but we’ll happily directly tell them that “boy, if you’re miserable today … and you don’t do this … you’ll be more miserable tomorrow. After all, if you do what you’ve always done …”

And we wouldn’t hypnotize our prospects into spending money, but we’ll gently hypnotize them with NLP and suggestion …

If you work in sales and you think about this too long it becomes problematic.

It’s precisely why salespeople have long been seen as immoral and avaricious.

So how do you deal with this issue if you value personal agency in the decision-making processes of your own prospects?

You draw your own line in the sand.

That means you say something like “I’ll never use thumb-screws but I will use a countdown timer” or “I’ll employ manufactured scarcity but never on somebody who has credit card debt“, or similar …

Which I guess is a start.

Personally, I’d like to think that I would have the strength to say to EVERY prospect I speak to “listen … you’re not allowed to make a decision about buying this right now … but we’ll have a conversation in 72 hours and you can tell me yes or no, right?

That will go some way to swinging the pendulum of legitimate choice in their direction. Their consent will be (more) deliberate and (more) considered.

But who am I kidding?

I’ll roll out the “limited spots available” during some launch in the future. And there will be an “early adopter incentive” on something I run sometime soon. And I’ll write bullet points that say “are you unhappy with X?” and I’ll rub a little salt in your wound.

But I’ll never use thumb-screws, and I’d much rather live in a world where you want to become a customer because of the WORK I do for you, than because of the sales tactics I deploy to ensnare you.

So, signing off a slightly weird missive from the sales trainer who, apparently, would rather live in a world where the whole act of selling was unnecessary.

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Goodbye Book Yourself Solid – the end of a big, beautiful era http://www.matthewkimberley.com/goodbye-book-yourself-solid/ Fri, 20 May 2016 11:18:30 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=2969 About six years ago I was pretty miserable. Running a recruitment company that had my name on the ownership documents, with a handful of young and eager staff who looked up to me, healthy sales and an office with a fussball table just minutes away from home, everything should have been great. But it wasn’t. […]

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michaelmatthewamy

About six years ago I was pretty miserable.

Running a recruitment company that had my name on the ownership documents, with a handful of young and eager staff who looked up to me, healthy sales and an office with a fussball table just minutes away from home, everything should have been great.

But it wasn’t.

I was hitting the snooze button five times each morning, taking a circuitous route to work and putting in the hours – but not the love – to build something I’d come to hate.

I wrote a book that was angry self-help (which went on to sell tens of thousands of copies), designed to help myself get out of the funk I was in.

And it helped, a little.

But what really helped – what shifted everything for me – was the sudden appearance in my life of a deus ex-machina in the form of a (relatively) good-looking, smart and well-rounded “guru” (he hates that word) from Pennsylvania, via Manhattan and stints on Sex And The City.

I’d been on Michael Port’s mailing list for years … ever since I read Book Yourself Solid for the first time.

And – like with most marketing emails I get – I ignored almost everything he sent.

But then … (and they say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear) … as I was studiously avoiding the spreadsheets that were draining my will to work, I opened one of his missives.

“Do You Want To Become A Book Yourself Solid® Certified Coach?” it said.

I followed up. We got on the phone. I enrolled in the program.

And the rest, as they say, as is history.

Book Yourself Solid® is an evergreen, always-relevant business growth system that puts heart at the center of everything you do.

It’s straightforward, it works and it’s a lot of fun.

Six years after learning the system, having been Michael’s client, and him being my client, and becoming best friends and business partners, I’m moving on.

Today is my last day as the Head of Book Yourself Solid Worldwide.

And it’s bittersweet.

Not a single day has felt like work.

Whether we’ve been writing copy, sharing the stage, designing product launches, goofing off on Michael’s boat, or making profound differences to the business and personal lives of our clients, every day has been cherished.

Michael is the most generous and patient and smart guy I could have wished to have spent the last half-decade with. In a still-nascent industry with its fair share of hucksters, fast-talkers, cowboys and opportunists, Michael is the real deal.

He says that you build trust by simply “doing what you say you’re going to do”.

He’s never not done that. Not once.

And more …

In 2013, our youngest son, Edward, was born with a heart defect.

He was very sick.

For three months and a couple of weeks I was at Edward’s side in intensive care in London, 1000 miles away from home. It was – as you can imagine – distracting.

I didn’t have it in me to do the regular coaching and motivating and training and strategizing and wise-cracking that made up my job.

The work I was doing for Michael at the time – as a subcontractor paid on results – represented about 70% of my income.

I didn’t show up for work for almost four months.

But every month, without my asking, Michael wrote me a big check, and told me that when I was ready, I could come back.

When Edward was fully recovered and we got home, I made a promise that Michael would have my loyalty and service forever.

And he does.

From today it will be in a slightly different format.

My replacement – the new President and COO of Book Yourself Solid® Worldwide – is Walt Hampton.

Walt’s appointment couldn’t be more perfect for everyone involved. Walt is super fucking smart and funny and generous and competent. He’s a great writer, a strategist, a born coach and one of the best people you can know.

He’s also a lawyer, but we’ll forgive him that.

I’m brewing up some new misadventures for the very near future. 

You can be a part of them, so stay in touch.

And in the meantime, Michael Port … I love you, you bastard.

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Networking 101: Five Highly Effective Hacks For Rapidly Building Professional Relationships http://www.matthewkimberley.com/networking/ Wed, 27 Jan 2016 17:02:18 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=2881 This guide is about networking. But first: a public safety announcement. Smoking is bad for you … It can, however, be great for business. Yep, start smoking now and before you know it you’ll be forging new relationships and making new friends, and business contacts, and lovers … (for all the reasons below) … while you’re standing […]

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Networking 101: 5 Highly Effective Hacks For Rapidly Building Professional Relationships

This guide is about networking.

But first: a public safety announcement.

Smoking is bad for you …

It can, however, be great for business.

Yep, start smoking now and before you know it you’ll be forging new relationships and making new friends, and business contacts, and lovers … (for all the reasons below) … while you’re standing outside parties with Europeans and other social outcasts.

That said, I’m more interested in how you can get the same benefits and results without smoking, using a couple of immediately-implementable techniques, rather than selling you on the dubious benefits of taking up tobacco as a hobby.

Obviously.

So here’s why smokers make friends with each other more quickly, and then … the kicker … how YOU can replicate that for fast-forwarding friendly alliance-forging.

When two or more people are huddled together in a doorway, outside a conference, sucking on those “little tubes of delight” (Dennis Potter, 1994), there’s an interesting dynamic at play that leads to quick and tight social bonds.

  1. They’ve got a common weakness that they have no choice but to acknowledge (tobacco) so they’re mutually caught with their metaphorical pants down. Job titles don’t matter when you’re taking a dump, and the same goes for when you’re smoking.
  2. They are participating in ritualistic behavior that identifies them as part of the same group. They’re in a club now and that’s cool. Like smoking.*
  3. What’s more, as members of that club, they’ve got a common antagonist (non-smokers) which reinforces the “them” versus the “us” that ties groups together so strongly.
  4. The borderline-illicit nature of their smoking – outside of Russia and vast swathes of Asia – adds a frisson of danger and iconoclasm to their interaction. People bond more readily in times of stress or excitement.
  5. They are sharing an unofficial moment in an otherwise official environment. This speeds up their shared experience of one another: if you’ve only known somebody in one environment, you may not even recognize them outside of that environment. If you’ve “experienced” somebody in multiple different locations then you feel like you’ve known them longer. Professional pick-up artists call this “bouncing”.

There are doubtlessly other reasons. But I think it boils down to the introduction of a non-congruent, contrasting and distinct thing (in this case, “smoking” or “cigarettes”) into an otherwise “normal” environment.

It’s an ice-breaker: a pattern-interrupt that forces connection and provokes conversation.

So how can YOU interrupt a pattern, forge a connection and incite conversation at your next networking event, mixer or conference?

Here are a three ideas. I can’t vouch for any of them yet, but if you want to try them out (as I will in the near future) then please report back your findings.

Click here to get my FREE fully comprehensive networking guide.

GREAT NETWORKING IDEA ONE: The Wearable Call To Action

Hello my name is a challenge

Wear a pin that says “Ask Me Anything” or “You Can Kiss Me If You Like”. (In British we call these pins “badges”, in case you’re British and are asking “what’s a pin?”)

You could also wear a t-shirt that says something unusual, but I can’t think of a good reason to wear a t-shirt with a funny slogan on … ever.

I like small buttons. They’re discreet, not overwhelming, and not brash. You can plant seeds that lead to broken unspoken barriers.

Scott Ginsberg wears a nametag 24/7. And guess what he’s an expert in? Approachability.

People say “hey Scott” and he gets into a conversation. He’s even got a tattoo of his nametag for when he loses his shirt. I don’t know how often that happens.

You can have just your name on a tag, like Scott, or take it a step further and wear a label that invites conversation (“Ask Me Anything”) or action (“Kiss Me”) or controversy (“I’ve got a communicable disease: can you guess what it is?”)

Incidentally, the number of quotation marks in this missive is starting to make feel “sick”.

GREAT NETWORKING IDEA NUMBER TWO: The Great Selfie Challenge

Selfie Challenge

How about, the minute you lock eyes with somebody, you tell them “oh boy! We’ve GOT to get a photo together”?

Most people will acquiesce. Some won’t. Don’t worry about those people. They’ve probably got self-confidence issues that you can’t solve. Or cooties, which you probably can solve, but shouldn’t.

You take a photo with them, or two. You tell them that you’ve just GOT to send them a copy and grab their digits. Send it immediately. Suggest a series of further photos to complete the gallery. Compliment them on their hair. And shoes. Then get photos of the shoes.

Follow up a day later by printing and framing the photos and having them sent to their house.

They’ll never forget you.

BY THE WAY … this works FANTASTICALLY in the B2B arena. The VAST majority of prospect/salesmen meetings end with a handshake and a promise to “be in touch with a proposal”.

And then the salesman is forgotten forever.

But it’s impossible to forget the only salesman that year (that life?) who grabbed you by the shoulders at the end of the meeting, took a shot, then sent you a framed copy of the photo the next day.

“Something to put on your desk to remember me by.”

You might not win the business, but you won’t be forgotten, either.

GREAT NETWORKING IDEA NUMBER 3: The “Can I Get Your Input?”

Nice mustache

Pull a stranger into a conversation you’re having with somebody else, or pull a stranger into a conversation you’re about to have with them.

Then, either ask them something leftfield. Get their opinion on it.

  • “Would this guy’s face look better without the mustache?”
  • “Why has there never been a Portuguese astronaut?”
  • “What’s better? Butter or olive oil … for lubricating rubber boots?”

The more out-there the ask, the greater the pattern-interrupt. Disturb the normal or the expected with a sharp poke in the eye. (Do not poke anybody in the eye.)

In my book How To Get A Grip (summarized this week in ten minutes on the $100 MBA show) I make some other suggestions for opening conversations with strangers. Your mileage with these might vary:

  • “Have you ever seen a dead body?”
  • “Can you smell shit?”
  • “What’s the square root of 957?”
  • “You look like my stepmother. She used to beat me.”
Enjoying this? Want more. Free guide to rapid networking when you click here.

GREAT NETWORKING IDEA NUMBER 4: Confer Responsibility

Hold my baby. Back soon

This is rather like point number 3. A variation on “can I get your opinion” but stronger and requires more input from your target.

It’s been used to great effect by the pranksters on Just For Laughs (infinitely superior to the criminality that passes for pranks nowadays on YouTube, IMHO).

For example:

You get somebody to hold your dog while you run the bathroom (set-up), and then the dog gets eaten by a bigger dog (pay-off).

Or:

You ask somebody to hold your bag while you tie your laces (set-up) and then a policeman runs around the corner and accuses them of handling stolen property (pay-off).

In your case, the setup doesn’t have consequences beyond making new friends.

So you might ask somebody to hold your glass while you do a series of push-ups and burpees (it’s exercise time!).

You might request that somebody score you out of ten on your interpretation of To Kill A Mockingbird through the medium of modern dance.

Or you might tell somebody to hold your phone and wallet while you run outside to tackle a burglar … the bat-signal is flashing, after all.

They’ll be tied to you in a way that requires their active input. It might be mildly inconvenient for them, but you’ll have them as a captive audience for as long as they’re doing your bidding.

[BONUS: If you want people to do your bidding, one of the ways to make this more likely to happen is if you first ask them “could I ask a small favor?” It’s difficult to say no to that, and by that stage they’re semi-committed.]

GREAT NETWORKING IDEA NUMBER 5: Assume Authority

The Boss

I once stood outside the entrance to a nightclub in downtown LA wearing a dark suit. People started to show me their ID cards as they walked in. I could have had a lot more fun with that than I did, had I been a quicker thinker.

So think in advance and pass yourself off as somebody “more important” than you are.

(AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Remember that: there’s nobody in the world more important than you. You are whole and entire and you are everything you need and you have everything you need …)

The more authoritative you are, the more information you can ask for. The more information you can ask for, the quicker you can build a relationship.

I was at NMX – a conference – in Vegas several years ago, sitting down at a table outside one of the session rooms with Antonio from Real Men Real Style.

We were shooting the breeze, chatting, eating sandwiches, saving the world. Regular stuff.

We got approached roughly five or six times in half an hour by people who needed something. They needed directions. They needed information. They needed to know where the best place to grab lunch was. They wanted to know what time the afternoon sessions were starting.

Because we were sitting at a table that at one time might have been a registration table, we looked semi-official. We spoke to new people. We made new friends.

So assume that officialdom. Play host. You can always tell the host from the invited-spouse-of-the-new-guy-in-office from their body language. From their sense of belonging.

Use props: hi-viz jackets work if you need to shepherd people around. Clipboards work if you want to elicit information. Police uniforms work if you want to get people into your car (and get yourself arrested).

They say that if you’re carrying a clipboard, wearing a dark suit and earpiece and walking in a determined manner, you can get backstage anywhere. It helps if you’re a white, middle-aged male, as well, I guess.

But if you don’t have unfair advantage, and you don’t want to take up smoking, take any of those five ideas and run with them.

You’ll make more friends more quickly.

And when you’ve collected those new friends? Just follow the five steps I outline in my world-beating guide to the five things you need to do every morning to get more clients in sixty days.

Click here to get more clients

Let me know how you get on.

MK

*not like smoking

 

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The Annual Gloat List: 2015 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/annual-gloat-list-2015/ Mon, 04 Jan 2016 20:19:31 +0000 http://www.matthewkimberley.com/?p=2868 [This went out to the smart and handsome crowd who get my emails. If you don’t get them, then you don’t get 90% of the stuff I write: almost all of which is considerably less masturbatory and self-congratulatory than what follows.] Despite outward appearances, I’m prone to introspection. My brazen gallivanting and practiced insouciance comes […]

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Gloat List

[This went out to the smart and handsome crowd who get my emails. If you don’t get them, then you don’t get 90% of the stuff I write: almost all of which is considerably less masturbatory and self-congratulatory than what follows.]

Despite outward appearances, I’m prone to introspection.

My brazen gallivanting and practiced insouciance comes at a price, and that price is sporadic bouts of self-doubt and self-not-quite-loathing-but-certainly-mild-castigation.

“Could have done better, should have done better, could have done more,” rattles around frequently in my brain, normally at bed-time or when suffering from a particularly vicious bout of cocktail flu.

Which is why I find it luxuriously self-indulgent to look back on the last twelve months, carefully curate the highlights and say “hey, that was pretty cool”.

When John Lee Dumas interviewed me for Entrepreneur On Fire, I mentioned that I wished I’d never discovered entrepreneurialism (entrepreneurship? entrepreneurhood?) because today, I’m never satisfied. I always want more.

So doing this kind of “greatest hits” exercise helps filleth up my cup of want, with a reminder that I’ve gotten a lot.

SO … the best thing about 2015?

Easy: Mrs K got the all-clear from the surgeons who cut out a malignant chunk of her breast. She’s got a gnarly titty scar to prove it.

Also, we got a puppy. She’s pretty cool. Her name is Belle. Or “BELLE!” most of the time, when she’s shitting liberally all over the house with a grin and a disregard for domestic convention.

Never have I been so glad for tiled floors.

Sam (6 years old and somewhat of an unknown quantity) stole the show at the school concert with his rendition of “It’s A Donkey”, unencumbered by the shadow of his learning support assistant. Proud dad moment.

And Ed (2 years old) spent the entire year with us at home. For which we are unusually grateful, every year.

And if I broke bread with you, or shared drinks and late nights and far too much fun: you were a highlight, too.

On the work front, all was good.

I clocked up 102,000 miles in airplane travel:

Spoke at Heroic Public Speaking Live in Florida.

Hung out with my coach and his super-sharp Black Belters in LA.

Hosted an awards ceremony in London

Took the kids to Peppa Pig World (as dreadful as it sounds)

Ate a whole lot of good stuff in Hong Kong

Spoke at Tropical Think Tank in the Philippines

Brokered introductions in Hollywood between two of my favorite people.

Created marketing campaigns in Long Beach, CA.

Taught Suitcase Entrepreneurs how to sell at The Freedom Retreat in Portugal

Paddle-boarded down the Potomac

Duct-taped some high-end solutions together on a boat in Annapolis

More Black Belt coaching in Manhattan

Stage time in London at the Expert Success Summit

Mastermind meeting in Savannah, with the Book Yourself Solid Massive

Sold an apple onstage at Webinar Ninja Live in San Diego

Spoke in Mauritius and shook hands with their president; and …

… attended the wedding of my beloved business partners in Brooklyn.

Business-wise, hundreds of new members joined the School for Selling, my 1:1 coaching income represented 0.5% of my total revenue (guess I’m no longer a coach, right?), worked with some inspirational joint venture partners, got down and dirty with a WSJ-bestselling book launch, sold some stuff from the stage, got involved in organizing some big and small events … and all was well with the world.

I got a killer new website, designed by Joana Galvao and her team (who also redesigned the School for Selling sales pages).

Got some delightful new headshots from David Heisler.

Got a new speaker promo reel that I love.

And met, or hung out with good, GOOD people.

Oh boy, those people.

I started to put a list together, but then decided against including it here when it got to 40+ names. I’ll only neglect to include somebody and then beat myself up for a few days.

And just writing this down – including, or especially – the list of names of people who have been so precious this year – has left me with an enormous body-wide grin.

I suggest you do the same thing: write down your highlights and watch your smile grow.

Heck, send those lists to me (just hit reply to this email) and spread the love to Malta, where I sit despondent, waiting on your emails.

Because there’s much, much love coming your way if you do.

Happy new year and all that jazz.

And signing off of the most self-indulgent email you’re going to get from me all year: promise.

– MK

PS – also proud of the fact that I was on Periscope for about two minutes and then changed my mind and jumped off SHARP.

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